Dad's time on this earth ran out on April 21st. In the week that followed, it was a struggle to get anything done. Feelings of grief and loss crowded out the more pressing things on my agenda. It was as if my heart was telling me to take a break, to step back and reset before moving forward in a world where he is no longer physically present.
Dad's passing reminds me that the greatest thing we have in this life is time. Perceived shortages or excesses can both bring feelings of anxiety and stress. There are so many ways to fritter it away, social media being one of my biggest time suckers. When I don't feel like I've used my time well, then I don't feel like I deserve down time. Down time was exactly what I needed last week after Dad passed away. My mind and heart were trying to put on the brakes, but there was a nagging little voice saying that I had wasted too much time to justify the down time.
Money can also be a source of stress and like time, it can be well-invested or wasted. There are times when one must spend money on themselves if for no more than basic needs of food and shelter. I am dilligent about managing money, shopping for bargains and disciplined when it comes to spending on myself.
May is considered a month of new beginnings. For this month, I will seek to apply the same level of discipline to my time as I do with my finances. By implementing some planning and productivity tools and avoiding the social media rabbit hole, I can use time and save time and ultimately reward myself with time to recharge my batteries. We all need downtime, but if it feels unearned it becomes a source of guilt instead.
A minute is a minute; an hour is an hour. They can fly by or crawl. Time marches on and we never get back that which we allow to slip through our fingers.